Dearest Elliott,

Dearest Elliott, Today is your birthday and I intend to shower you with surprises, gifts, magic and mayhem – in typical Melissa fashion. You’d be 28 today and I can picture it perfectly. Your day would start with a morning Bud Light in the shower while you sing my most hated song, “Drinkin’ a beeeer […]

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Bumble, Don’t Kill My Vibe

After a series of unfortunate events, I’ve somehow found myself back in the cesspool of online dating. I’ve gone from Friday night sushi dinners with my best friend I so deeply loved, to swiping through an electronic pool of men I have absolutely zero interest in meeting. But here I am, swiping away in hopes […]

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Cupid Is Stupid

Valentine’s Day is huge. It’s huge in the sense that it’s one of those holidays that’s guaranteed to have some sort of an effect on you. It’s also one of those holidays that won’t always affect you the same way year after year. For instance, St. Patrick’s Day influences giggling pinches, a yearning for copious […]

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