The Hermit

Goodbye. Adios. Ciao. Bon Voyage. Sayonara. I’m not sure what language the Universe speaks, but this is me saying “BYE and GO FUCK YOURSELF” to 2017. I had high hopes for 2017. Hopes that were inspired by an epiphany that took place two days prior to the New Year. It was 7:00am on December 30, […]

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Interview With Poseidon

I’m not someone that gets embarrassed very often. Not that I don’t do embarrassing things. I do embarrassing things 24 hours a day. But due to the frequency of my daily personal failings, I’ve learned how to own it. If someone were to ask me, “What was the most embarrassing moment of your life?” it’d […]

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Bagel Girl to Porn Star?

In the Bagel Industry, verbally abusive customers are considered especially heinous. In San Francisco, the dedicated elevator operators who investigate these felonies are members of an elite squad known as the “Vicious Vag Productions”. Here is my story. (🎶DUN DUN🎶) I was 19 years old and crying hysterically in an elevator the day I was propositioned to […]

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