Bagel Girl to Porn Star?

In the Bagel Industry, verbally abusive customers are considered especially heinous. In San Francisco, the dedicated elevator operators who investigate these felonies are members of an elite squad known as the “Vicious Vag Productions”. Here is my story. (🎶DUN DUN🎶) I was 19 years old and crying hysterically in an elevator the day I was propositioned to […]

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Cupid Is Stupid

Valentine’s Day is huge. It’s huge in the sense that it’s guaranteed to have some sort of an effect on you, but it won’t always affect you the same way year after year. For instance, it’s nothing like St. Patrick’s Day, a holiday that’s focused on inappropriate pinching, Jameson shots, and the mass consumption of […]

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